A Very Dark Place

Several years ago, I was arrested for drunk driving, it was one of the bigger mistakes I have made. As part of my sentence, the judge sent me to a Driver Intervention Program. I had to spend the weekend at the Holiday Inn, and attend classes that taught you all about drugs and alcohol, laws that surround them, and many other things. This class was taught by lawyers, insurance agents, police officers, and recovering alcoholics that had to take the same course at one time. I dreaded having to attend this class, but after taking it, I was glad I did and was a better person because of it. One of the class assignments we were asked to do was write a letter of apology to those we potentially hurt because of our mistake. The letter was to be written as if we were in an accident, in jail, or something a long those lines. The letter I wrote came in the form of a poem. I read it every once and a while, as a reminder of the mistakes I have made, and a reminder of mistakes I would rather avoid. I came across it today as I was searching for a document, I decided to share it with whomever is willing to read it, and as an attempt to make others think of who suffers for their mistakes.

To: All Whom I've Concerned

From: A Very Dark Place

I am not sure the day, the week, or the year; all I know is that I am here.

What had happened is not quite clear, but I do recall drinking my sixteenth beer.

It seems that I have gotten myself in a bind, trapped in a prison inside my mind.

The way out I cannot seem to find, but thank you for being here, you are all too kind.

I am sorry for this life that I've led.

I am sorry for many of the things that I've said.

I am sorry for all of the lies that I've fed.

I am sorry that in a moment I will be dead.

To my love:

You know that I loved you with all of my heart,

I wish we could've finished what we never got to start.

I wish would have asked you to be my wife,

and together we could have had a long life.

To my mother:

I regret not telling you how I feel,

things I should have said but would not reveal.

I regret not telling you before I was through,

but I want you to know I do love you too.

To my children:

To you there is so much to say,

I know you don't understand why dad can't stay.

I'm sorry I will not be there to give the you the things you need,

I'm sorry I wasted my time with alcohol and weed.

I wish I could be there as you grow up,

and give you advice when times get tough.

But my biggest regret is on the day you die,

joining our family and Lord in the sky;

I won't be there, you won't see my face,

because I'll be down here in a very dark place.